My wife took this photo of our kids (above.) I was trying to place what it reminded me of.
And then I remembered.
ThisKevin
the adventures of Kevin Maher, writer-comedian
and
KEVIN GEEKS OUT ABOUT… EVIL CHILDREN
SPECIAL DOUBLE FEATURE
Thursday July 7th @ 8pm
buy your tickets here.
(2-shows-for-the-price-of-1)
at the 92Y Tribeca, 200 Hudson Street, New York, NY
THE CHILDREN (35mm print)
When a school bus detours past a leaky nuclear-power plant, the pre-teen passengers transform into homicidal zombies with black fingernails. The children use their newly discovered nuclear powers to fry adults by hugging them to death! The ghoulish kid actors steal the movie; their hokey performances magnify the horror. You might find yourself rooting for the evil tweens as they stalk their obnoxious parents. Director Max Kalmanowicz invokes VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED and NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, while delicately balancing genuine terror with satiric edge. The low-budget creepfest features a haunting score by Henry Manfredini, who would replicate the music for the soundtrack to FRIDAY THE 13TH that same year.
Director: Max Kalmanowicz. 93 min. 1980. 35mm.
DON’T GO TO SLEEP
Aaron Spelling’s notorious made-for-TV movie pulls out all the stops: tweens in straight-jackets; killer pizza-cutters; death by pet lizard; and a hysterical Valerie Harper. Harper’s 12-year-old daughter Mary has been acting strange ever since the mysterious death of her family’s beloved older sister. One by one, Mary’s family members meet the most gruesome ends imaginable. The perky murderess is played to perfection by Robin Ignico (runner-up for the lead in the film version of ANNIE). The movie co-stars Ruth Gordon, Dennis Weaver and Oliver Robins (the kid from POLTERGEIST). See why Kindertrauma website called it “Highly engrossing, admittedly campy, indisputable creepy, and nearly impossible to shake.”
Director: Richard Lang. 93 min. 1982 (Made for TV)
In the latest installment of our web-series, Rusty Ward and I watched RONA JAFFE’S MAZES & MONSTERS.
*Not to be confused with AL JAFFEE’S MAZES & MONSTERS. (which, I imagine, would have been titled “Mazes & Morons”, filled with snappy answers to stupid questions. “Are you going to jump off the Twin Towers and commit suicide?” “No, I am Pardu, I can fly from this tower and join the great Hall.”)
Like a role-playing game, the movie has many levels to it — that is, you can enjoy it any number of ways. I first saw this movie as an 8-year-old, and now I’ve watched it again as an adult. I enjoyed it each time I’ve seen it.
I don’t want to give too much away here, since unlike other reviews we’ve done this video sums up our observations and doesn’t require lengthy bonus material.
photo by Matthew Glasson
Happy 100th Birthday to a one-of-a-kind American: Vincent Price.
Check out this recap of KEVIN GEEKS OUT ABOUT VINCENT PRICE.
Or enjoy these related Links:
A friend of mine recently wrote this compelling article about “bad” movies and ironic viewing. He also sent me a note saying that it wasn’t directed towards me.
I was flattered to have him write to me (and note that I’m “one of the good guys”) but I was disappointed to think that I’ve got this reputation.
Let me clear the air. I love all kinds of movies, TV shows, comic books and works of literature. For reasons too boring to get into, I am not a fan of the baggage that comes with high and/or low art.
The latest installment of Kevin Maher & Rusty Ward’s web-series looks at EATEN ALIVE (1977) a.k.a. Death Trap, a.k.a Horror Hotel, a.k.a. Starlight Slaughter, a.k.a. Legend of the Bayou, a.k.a. Brutes & Savages.Director Tobe Hooper is probably best know for two films: THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1975) and POLTERGIEST (1982). But in the years between those two classics, he directed a handful of other films, including: VENOM (1981), THE FUNHOUSE (1981) and the made-for-TV movie of SALEM’S LOT (1979).
But the most stylistic and bizarre offering from that period has got to be EATEN ALIVE. The movie plays like a Carol Burnett Show parody of CHAINSAW, complete with hokey sets, colorful costumes and lots of wigs. Storywise, the film’s first act has a lot in common with PSYCHO, where a young girl escapes a Cathouse and seeks shelter in a run-down motel, where she is murdered. But instead of being hacked to pieces by a transvestite with Mommy issues, she’s beaten by a long-haired war veteran and fed to a giant alligator (or maybe it’s a crocodile. This detail is never made clear. Motel-owner Judd claims it’s a crocodile from Africa, but he proves to be an unreliable narrator.)
Previously I’d included EATEN ALIVE as part of the post-JAWS knock-offs that feature other aquatic monsters. (Like many of those titles, it had a trailer that compared it to JAWS.) But watching the movie it seems to belong to a different sub-genre entirely: Fear of the South. Certainly this genre (which was popular in the late 60’s and 70’s) includes TEXAS CHAINSAW, but it has roots in EASY RIDER and maybe even the Zapruder film. On the surface, there’s obvious differences, like Yankees do not know how to deal with a ‘gator the way Floridians might. But on a deeper level, I wonder if the real horror comes from Northern liberals who fear the Americans that elected Nixon. (This genre can be summed-up beautifully by an old National Lampoon comic book parody “Tales From the South”, see below.)
CHAINSAW has the advantage of a Texas filmmaker portraying the villains as monstrous Texans, EATEN ALIVE never really pinpoints a geography. It’s just “the South”, it could be Florida, Mississippi, Louisiana, we never know…
Part of the reason CHAINSAW is so powerful is that it has the look of a documentary. But with EATEN ALIVE, Hooper goes 180, embracing every form of artifice, with a broad location, corny wigs, and a hokey sound-stage swamp. I don’t know what exactly he’s going for, but somehow it all works and makes for a good time. Adding to the madness, are the over-the-top performances from Neville Brand and William Finley. Plus horror fans will delight in seeing Robert Englund (in one of his first roles) as “Buck”, a horny young man who is repeatedly seen trying to convince women to engage in anal sex. He’s like the Trix Rabbit of Sodomy.
Genre fans will also be delighted to see Marilyn Burns (Sally from T.C.M.) appearing as a morose housewife. It’s like seeing an old friend! I wish she’d made more movies. EATEN ALIVE is so star-studded that the film’s poster actually puts a box around all six actors. They’re that impressive!
I also like that the poster (see right) refers to Judd and the ‘gator as friends.
While researching the film, I came across this odd poster for the version titled LEGEND OF THE BAYOU. Apparently, back in the day, you could build a movie’s Ad-campaign around creepy teeth. (again, I credit JAWS. It always comes back to JAWS.)
Watch the trailer for EATEN ALIVE
Buy the DVD (single disc, widescreen)
Or purchase the Special Edition 2 DVD set (with featurettes on Tobe Hooper, Marilyn Bruns, and the real-life story of Joe Ball)
One of my latest projects is co-hosting SO BAD IT’S GOOD, a movie review web-series created by Webby-award winning comedian Rusty Ward. In our first episode we reveiw the 1988 made-for-TV movie THE INCREDIBLE HULK RETURNS, this marks the first feature-length appearance by Thor.
Now curiously, the 1988 movie takes places just 6 years after the Hulk TV series ended. (It’s like attending your 6th high school reunion.) Donald Blake mentions being Dr. Banner’s student 10 years earlier at Harvard. (That would’ve been 1978, when Banner was regularly transforming into the creature, and traveling the country as Bavid Bannister or David Ballinsgley, etc.) That’s because the movie is supposed to take place just two years following Banner’s initial exposure to gamma radiation that’s turned him into the Hulk.
Other observations and what-have-you:
In the movie, Banner has shacked up with a familiar looking woman — it’s the hot mom from Valley Girl,
one of pop culture’s first MILFs.
The actor playing Thor is a bit stiff. This could be an homage to the 1960’s Thor cartoon. (for maximum wooden-ness, skip ahead to 5:15)
Here’s my updated writer-producer reel.
This features work from AMC’s The Sci Fi Department, Comedy Central/Atom’s Old People News, and “Next Level” a segment I created for Vh1’s Best Week Ever.