Are you a zombie screenwriter? 

(That is, are you a screenwriter working on a zombie movie?)

Then here are some basic questions for you: 

1. RUNNING OR STAGGERING? 
Do your zombies run? Or do they stagger? 
Choose a side, mofo. 

2. CGI OR PRACTICAL? 
Your answer might be over-ruled by the director. If that’s the case it means someone is making your movie, a good problem to have. 

3. WHAT CAUSED THE DEAD TO RISE? 
(AND DOES THAT EVEN MATTER?)
Virus? Voodoo? Diseased lunar probe returning to Earth? 
My wife and I were discussing John Steinbeck’s novels and wondered whether the people he wrote about actually read and respected his work. And then we wondered: does that even matter? The same might be true of your zombie origin backstory. 

4. HOW DO YOU KILL THESE ZOMBIES? 
Shot to the head? Fire? Decapitation? 
Or maybe they can’t be killed traditionally (as is often the case with those damn Nazi zombies.) 

5. DO THE ZOMBIES’ VICTIMS BECOME ZOMBIES? 
Remember: You are under no obligation to make the zombies’ victims turn into the living dead.

6. IS THERE A ROLE FOR KEVIN HART? 
We need this film to make some money. 

7. WHO IS THE BIGGER THREAT: THE ZOMBIES OR THE OTHER SURVIVORS? 
Because seriously, that’s what makes this post-apocalyptic scenario so intriguing. 

8. WHAT ARE YOUR ZOMBIES A METAPHOR FOR? 
The zombie has come to represent everything from consumerism to conformity under Totalitarianism (That’s if we’re to believe that ZOMBIE STRIPPERS is really based on Eugene Ionesco’s RHINOCEROS.) What do your zombies mean? 

9. IS HUMANITY WORTH SAVING? 
This is another way of asking if the glass is half-empty or half-full. 

10. WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GET A REAL JOB? 
You parents wanted me to ask. I told them to fuck off. 

***RELATED*** 
For more zombie movie discussion see this show

Kevin & Matt Geek Out About Zombies – Show Trailer from Matthew Glasson on Vimeo.

TRIVIA FUN: NAME THAT ZOMBIE MOVIE