by Kevin on

You can learn a lot about a society based on how it depicts women on fireworks.


1. THE BEACH BABE

For you boner-poppin’ Freedom-luvin’ Shakesepeare fans. 

2. THE ST. PAULIE GIRL KNOCK-OFF

Oktoberfest meets the 4th of July meets beer ad stereotypes. 




 3. DISNEY PRINCESS (WHO NEVER ACTUALLY INFRINGE UPON DISNEY OWNED COPYRIGHTS)



4. HIGH MAINTENANCE (i.e. She expects a man to say thank you after she gives him a knob-job.) 


5. ROOFIE WAITING TO HAPPEN


6. ADULT WOMAN
She’s a gambler — specifically she’ll have unprotected sex in the back of your Honda Civic. 

7. TOPLESS LADY AT SOME KIND OF DEATH CAMP


Do not assume the pile of skulls means she’s at Dauchau, she could be topless in a Terminator future where John Connor lost the war to an army of Confederate Androids. 


8. BIKER BABES 

8A. CYCLE SLUT WITH GUN FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM IN IRAQ


PLEASE NOTE: 

“ONE BAD MOMMA” SHOULD NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE “ONE BAD MOTHER”** 


Say, where’s the Father in all of this? 

Oh right, he’s being nagged by that shrewish Mother-in-Law. 


HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

 ** Definitely should not be confused with ONE BAD MOTHER podcast on Maximum Fun Radio. That’s a great podcast, by the way. 

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